Stigma drives LGBTQI+ youth in Bhutan to the brink

“If gay is an act, be one,” this candid statement, shared by a member of Pride Bhutan, summarizes the resilience and courage required to exist as an LGBTQI+ individual in country. Yet, beneath this bold sentiment lies a tragic reality, where the Members of Pride Bhutan say that the most prevalent cause of suicide among LGBTQI+ community members stems from the lack of societal understanding and acceptance.

“The concept of LGBTQI+ is still new and emerging in Bhutan. A lack of family acceptance is one of the main causes. Home is where we often seek refuge and support, but when acceptance isn’t there, it’s hard to expect it from society. This lack of belonging neither at home nor in the larger communities leads many to suicidal ideation,” said one of the members from Pride Bhutan.

Another member highlighted that even in cases where families initially accept their LGBTQI+ children, societal and peer pressures often cause families to turn against them.

“Some families, unable to handle societal judgment, end up rejecting their children, pushing them into a state of despair. Many have been disowned due to their gender identity, leaving them heartbroken and driving them to seek solace in alcohol or drugs, which often leads to fatal consequences,” said another member from Pride Bhutan.

The members also pointed to bullying as a significant risk factor.

“Bullying is a universal issue, but for LGBTQI+ individuals, the risk is heightened. A person who identifies as LGBTQI+ faces additional layers of harassment, making it even harder for them to thrive in a society that largely misunderstands or stigmatizes them,” they said.

The members explained that apart from transgender individuals, many LGBTQI+ individuals in Bhutan lead discreet lives due to the stigma surrounding their identities.

“The concept of diverse gender identities and sexual orientations is still taboo and often viewed as abnormal. This internalized stigma keeps many from openly expressing themselves,” a member said.

They elaborated on the two forms of stigma that deeply affect the community: expressed stigma and internalized stigma. Expressed stigma, also known as external stigma, involves negative attitudes, beliefs, or practices directed at an individual by others. Internalized stigma occurs when an individual absorbs these external biases, adopting them as part of their self-image.

“What’s happening in Bhutan is that many LGBTQI+ individuals have internalized expressed stigma. Comments like ‘You’re gay, so you must be feminine,’ or ‘Why can’t you love the opposite gender? Or you are gay or lesbian why are you not wearing gho or kira,’ are repeated so often that people start to believe them. Over time, this becomes their reality. For instance, some members report feeling self-conscious even when a stranger stares at them, assuming it’s because of their gender identity or sexual orientation. This fear of judgment keeps many, apart from transgender individuals, from expressing their true selves,” the members said.

Likewise, they said that transgender individuals, they explained, often come forward because transitioning makes their identity visible to others. Trans men and women can’t hide their transitions, so they are more likely to live openly. But for lesbians, gays, bisexuals, pansexual, and others, the ability to hide their identity makes them more likely to stay discreet and avoid the risks of bullying or rejection.

Tragic Realities

The absence of official records on LGBTQI+ suicides in country makes it difficult to quantify the problem. However, Pride Bhutan members estimate that three such deaths have occurred in the past three years. Among these is the heart-wrenching case of a class 10 student who took his own life due to family rejection. The boy endured constant abuse from a violent father who severed ties with the only relative, his aunt, who supported him. The father blamed the aunt for his son’s gender identity, leaving the boy isolated and vulnerable

 Another case involved a young man who died by suicide after being rejected by both his family and society.

The members explained that many cases go unreported because families often avoid revisiting the trauma.

“Some families adopt a ‘let it rest’ attitude, saying things like awa kam di long bae khung me (no point in digging up dried feces) or ‘the deceased is gone, so there’s no point in talking about it now. This was the case with the class 10 student, whose aunt chose not to file a complaint after his death,” the members said.

Contradictions within families are also common. Pride Bhutan members recounted the story of a boy whose father accepted his identity, but his sisters did not. They took him to live with them in another dzongkhag and warned him against contacting members of Pride Bhutan or using social media platforms like TikTok to express himself despite being educated.

“Education does not necessarily guarantee acceptance. We often assume that educated parents or relatives are more understanding, but deep-rooted prejudices can override education,” a member said.

Conversely, empathy can lead to support, as seen in a case where a brother sought help for his reclusive transwoman sibling.

The members stated that suicide prevalence is particularly high among the gay community, often driven by the taboo surrounding their relationships, compounded by toxic masculinity and rigid gender norms. Similarly, they noted that for trans men, a common cause of emotional distress leading to suicide is when their partners ultimately leave them for heterosexual relationships.

Pride Bhutan’s ability to support the community is severely limited. Despite applying for Civil Society Organization (CSO) status a decade ago, they have yet to receive authorization, restricting their ability to secure funding nationally and internationally.

“Without proper resources, we are left relying on our small welfare fund. It allows us to send some individuals to rehabilitation centers and intervene on a case-by-case basis, but our capacity to make a larger impact is severely constrained,” they said.

Members expressed cautious optimism about the Ministry of Education and Skills Development’s plans to introduce gender identity concepts in schools and train teachers. However, they remain concerned about how inclusive these efforts will be.

“We have experienced bullying from teachers and principals in the form of teasing,” they said.

They also called for gender-neutral washrooms in schools, noting that while some schools have relaxed regulations to allow students to wear either gho or kira, access to designated male and female washrooms remains a challenge for those with different gender identities.

Members observed that homophobia and lack of acceptance are more prevalent among older generations. In contrast, younger generations, such as Gen Z and Generation Alpha, are generally more accepting and open-minded.

When asked what could be done to support LGBTQI+ community members, they said that public advocacy and awareness are key.  As they cannot force individuals to seek help. What they can do is educate the public about gender concepts.

“People need to understand that gender encompasses more than just male and female. It includes sex characteristics, gender expressions, sexual orientations, and, ultimately, gender identity,” the members said.

“To reduce internalized stigma, members emphasized the need to tackle expressed stigma. Public advocacy and awareness are key,” they said.

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